Today is 01/16/26.
Here is your daily fortune from "turtle".
 _________________________________________
/ The lovely woman-child Kaa was          \
| mercilessly chained to the cruel post   |
| of the warrior-chief Beast, with his    |
| barbarian tribe now stacking wood at    |
| her nubile feet, when the strong clear  |
| voice of the poetic and heroic          |
| Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic,      |
| crisp that chick, and you'll feel my    |
| steel through your last meal!'          |
|                                         |
| -- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton |
\ bad fiction contest.                    /
 -----------------------------------------
    \                                  ___-------___
     \                             _-~~             ~~-_
      \                         _-~                    /~-_
             /^\__/^\         /~  \                   /    \
           /|  O|| O|        /      \_______________/        \
          | |___||__|      /       /                \          \
          |          \    /      /                    \          \
          |   (_______) /______/                        \_________ \
          |         / /         \                      /            \
           \         \^\\         \                  /               \     /
             \         ||           \______________/      _-_       //\__//
               \       ||------_-~~-_ ------------- \ --/~   ~\    || __/
                 ~-----||====/~     |==================|       |/~~~~~
                  (_(__/  ./     /                    \_\      \.
                         (_(___/                         \_____)_)